


Regret

by InfiniteWoonique



Series: Bun in the Oven [6]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Happy Ending, High School, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mpreg, Pregnancy Angst - Freeform, Pregnant Kim Jungwoo (NCT)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-18
Updated: 2018-10-18
Packaged: 2019-08-04 04:18:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16339658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InfiniteWoonique/pseuds/InfiniteWoonique
Summary: Jungwoo is pregnant but he doesn't want to be. He doesn't want a kid at all





	Regret

Regret happens in everyone's life. For some people, it was through a tattoo they no longer liked, or someone would regret eating the last slice of pizza. Regret is defined as a feeling of sadness, repentance, or disappointment over something that has happened or been done. Regret always happens, sometimes over one's own actions. This is how Jungwoo felt constantly over the past six months. 

Jungwoo was pregnant, 24 weeks pregnant to be exact. He was pregnant for God's sake. How did that happen? Well, this was one of the biggest regrets of his life, leading to the current regret he was feeling and experiencing. This was usually a happy occasion for many people, but definitely not for a 17 year old senior in high school who was due at the beginning of his freshman year of college. 

It was unplanned, of course. He was fooling around with his long-term boyfriend, having dated for longer than two years, Wong Yukhei. They had gotten completely wasted at a New Year's Eve party and found themselves sleeping together in their friend's bedroom. Needless to say their friend, Taeil, was pissed, yet proud of the two for having gone that far with each other. He wasn't too proud when it turned out that Jungwoo was pregnant. 

Yukhei was just as shocked if not more, but he was excited that his nuts worked. And that he was going to be a father. He wasn't ready just like Jungwoo to be a father, but he was ready in a sense to adjust and try to make sense of this. Mentally, he was not prepared, but he was physically ready to be there for his boyfriend and baby. He made that very clear to Jungwoo when the older first told him, and it wasn't too bad to hear support from his boyfriend when the rest of the world was against him. 

Yet, Jungwoo didn't want it. 

He was too young, too immature, and not ready. He had morals though. There was no way he was going to abort it, that was crazy and cruel. He believed every baby should have a chance to live, and an innocent life should not be ended due to the parents' mistakes. He was just going to give it up for adoption. It would then go to a happy and ready family who wanted and would love that baby.

The stress of just the first two months of the pregnancy had made Jungwoo lose hair and weight with the amount of anxiety that was on his chest. He had a lot of complications early on because of these other complications. He had missed a full month of his junior year, bringing down his grades and reputation. He had been on bed rest and it just sucked to be pregnant, especially when it wasn't planned. 

At about three months along, he decided to place an open adoption. He would find a family who wanted a child and they would immediately adopt him or her after birth. The baby ended up being a little girl due in early September. 

Jungwoo found a family he approved of about a week ago. They were extremely kind and caring with a child they had already adopted at birth, unable to conceive their own. It would have a sibling upon entering the world and someone to look up to. They were the perfect candidates for Jungwoo and the pregnant teenager saw no reason why they couldn't have his baby. 

Yukhei had reasons why they couldn't take his baby though. That was his child after all, and he wanted to raise it alongside Jungwoo. He argued that he had a job and had money to pay for a baby, but Jungwoo retaliated with the point that he wouldn't be able to go to college and would have to get another job to pay past the first year of infancy. Yukhei was good with kids, but he had never had to take care of his own with two jobs and high school to finish. 

Jungwoo always pictured himself about twenty-eight years old before he would be having his first child. He would have a career and live in a house with his husband or wife. He honestly didn't know if Yukhei would still be with him at that point. It was a statistic that less than 2% of all high school sweethearts ended up marrying each other. They started dating freshman year, and Jungwoo always figured that they would date until they were in college and then while in college, the relationship would fizzle out and they would lose interest in each other. They both wanted to go to different universities, Jungwoo at a school in Daegu and Yukhei back home in Hong Kong, both where they were from. 

Since Jungwoo found out he was pregnant that one, tearful night, Yukhei and he gained some distance between each other. Their constant arguing didn't help that, both always at each other's throats over what each other wanted to do with the baby. The farther along Jungwoo's pregnancy progressed, the bigger he grew, and the more they were reminded about what needed to be done about... it. 

Jungwoo only ever referred to the baby as 'it'. Yukhei always insisted that he refer to the baby as their baby, their daughter. Yukhei even grew accustomed to calling her Areum. It was a cheesy name meaning beautiful in Korean, but Yukhei was a cheesy person. Jungwoo only ever referred to "Areum" as "it". He ignored the name and tried not to get attached. Tried not to make it personal.

It was Friday, a day full of hell as Jungwoo went through the day of constant staring and name calling from kids in his grade. Kids he didn't even know knew who he was. They called him horrible names that he wouldn't think of calling anyone else. 

Yukhei was a junior and he wasn't known as the father of the baby by most people. He was a private person and no one expected him to have a child while in high school. A few people knew that he was going to be the father of "that pregnant senior's" baby, but they gave him less crap than they did Jungwoo. It was always the pregnant one's fault that they were pregnant. The father was never at fault. 

The two met up and planned to hang out that night for the first time in a while. They hadn't fought all week and so they decided they should celebrate and watch movies at Jungwoo's house. It was a rainy day and it was the perfect night to cuddle, watch movies, and eat popcorn. They hadn't done so since before Jungwoo found out he was pregnant. 

They drove to Jungwoo's house and got out of the car. Yukhei carried his and Jungwoo's backpack inside, not wanting to put strain on the older male. Jungwoo couldn't care less, but obviously, Yukhei did, so he let the younger do what he wanted. His back was starting to hurt anyways. 

Jungwoo made himself comfortable on the couch with a warm blanket as Yukhei put in a movie. It was a classic scary movie. Neither really liked scary movies, but they used that fact as an opportunity to focus on each other. Yukhei had suggested it to get to Jungwoo and use it as a way to get to the older to talk about their baby, Areum. Jungwoo gave Yukhei the benefit of the doubt and thought he just wanted Jungwoo to focus on him due to the lack of physical contact they had had. 

Yukhei had already popped popcorn and it was in a large green bowl in Jungwoo's lap, his belly pushing it farther than it usually would be from his body. He snacked on the food and looked down at his belly. He thought it was ugly and unattractive as this thing grew inside of him. He used to be so thin and fit, but now he looked awful. He only felt comfortable sweatpants and baggy t-shirts now and he felt like a blob. He was surprised how Yukhei was still barely with him. 

Three bags of popcorn and half a movie later, they were still sitting on the couch together, Jungwoo's head in Yukhei's lap as they boredly watched the killing scenes of the supporting characters. They sat in silence with the movie as the background, Yukhei's hands awkwardly placed. Jungwoo wouldn't let Yukhei touch his belly. Jungwoo thought it would help Yukhei not get too much more attached to it. He wanted this as simple as possible when it comes to separation. 

That's not what Yukhei was thinking. He wanted so badly to feel Jungwoo's belly so he could feel his daughter. He had only touched it once when Jungwoo was about twelve weeks along and had just started showing. Yukhei had noticed through a thin shirt that Jungwoo had worn to school that day and subconsciously reached out and placed his hand on the small swell. After that day, Jungwoo had a rule that there would be no touching. He hadn't felt since.

He was so curious it was killing him. His hand was resting behind Jungwoo's back, awkwardly limp. Without really thinking of what would happen next, Yukhei raised his hand and smoothed it flat against Jungwoo's belly. Jungwoo immediately tensed when he felt the weight of his boyfriend's hand against his stomach. 

It was harder than Yukhei was expecting. He expected it to be soft and for his hand to sink in at the sides where it was mainly fat and not baby, but it didn't. It was all firm on the belly and soft where the skin was, but the baby was indeed much bigger than when he last felt it. 

Jungwoo didn't do anything and kept laying where he was so Yukhei explored a bit more. He moved from Jungwoo's side to almost underneath the swell before Jungwoo finally decided to speak up. 

"Please stop. I let you have your fun, now you can take your hand off," he said almost threateningly, making no move to physically stop Yukhei. The younger, however, was mesmerized by what he felt and let his hand almost cup underneath Jungwoo's extended belly. That was a new feeling too. It was different, odd, amazing all at the same time. He felt pride in his chest and heart that his daughter was growing so well inside of Jungwoo. 

"Yukhei, stop!" Jungwoo finally yelled, pushing himself up with a bit of a struggle. Pregnancy didn't help him with that at all. 

"But why? Why can't I feel?" Yukhei asked. He didn't know what to call Jungwoo's belly. They hadn't talked much about it and Jungwoo hated referring to it. It always threw them into a fight, and Yukhei realized they were getting into another one, so he almost shouted, "To hell with it! Why can't I feel your belly?! Why can't I feel our daughter move around?! Has she even kicked yet? I wouldn't know because you never tell me anything!" 

"This baby is not ours," Jungwoo started before he was interrupted by the younger before he could finish. 

"'This baby is the adoptive family's'. I've heard that over a hundred times, but they didn't make that baby! We did!"

"We were drunk! It was a mistake!" 

"Are you saying the baby is a mistake, or the sex, because I thought you were better than that!" Yukhei shouted back. He was angry now, truly angry, standing up to walk out some of his anger, "And you're so unattached to this baby that you won't even call it a baby! You just call her it! We made that baby together and that baby is ours! That's our daughter! This is a freaking kid we made together, forego the accident part! Whether you like it or not, you're having a baby and that baby will look like you or me or both! Our baby will be out in the world looking like us and she will never know who we are because her mother was too afraid to care for her!" 

Tears began to fall from Jungwoo's eyes. He was tired of hearing all of this and it only hurt him more everytime they had this conversation. He was done talking about it, but he knew that Yukhei wasn't and he would only continue to hear about it. He was going to push and push until the older cracks from the pressure. Jungwoo opened his mouth to say something, but only closed it again, his tears choking him up. 

Yukhei's sharp and angry facial expressions softened into a frown, eyes drooping as he became sad and felt guilty about making his boyfriend sad. He always made him cry, it's just how things had been for six months. 

This was no abusive relationship. It was a tough situation. This was deciding for the rest of their lives, their entire future would revolve around this decision. This was no problem that would go away with an adoption. They would be losing a kid, their child. This would always be their first child, and neither thought they could ever forget about her. But they weren't ready, not in the slightest, and not after how they had been avoiding becoming parents for six months. 

Yukhei sat down again, close to Jungwoo and leaned forward to hug him. Jungwoo let Yukhei envelop him in his arms into a warm hug. It had been a while since they actually, really hugged. Jungwoo had avoided any and all contact with his belly, so this was also new to have it feel like there was a beach ball in between the two. They had a full hug, belly pressed hard into Yukhei's stomach. Hugging felt awkward, but it felt so right and so warm.

"I'm scared," Jungwoo admitted. He was shaking and trembling, feeling weak against his own emotions, "I don't want to screw this kid up," he added, lifting his head up to look Yukhei in the eyes. Jungwoo's eyes were red and glossy with all the tears he had shed, "I still don't think we're ready."

Yukhei nodded and looked away from Jungwoo, "I don't think anyone is ever really ready to be a parent. I was an "early surprise" they called it. I was a mistake too," Yukhei joked, lightly chuckling. He felt Jungwoo momentarily stop shaking so he could look up at his boyfriend.

"But you have an older brother, they already had a kid. They had careers and money and a house. They had everything a kid could need, and we have nothing."

"True, but even with a first kid, they still weren't ready for me. No one is ever ready to be a parent, which is why I ask you to please keep her. Areum needs her mother. She needs both of us to love her and not give up on her. She already knows who you are and she already loves you so much. I've never met her and I already love her so much. She is my everything already as much as you are. I miss a happier you and I want to be happy again too. So please, keep her. Let's raise her together and show her what real love looks like."

Jungwoo's eyes seemed to brighten up, and for the first time ever, or the first time Yukhei had ever seen, Jungwoo gingerly placed his hand on his baby bump in a loving way. His hand was sprawled out and smoothed out over his round belly, long fingers curling over the skin prettily. A small smile even escaped his lips as he, for the first time, really enjoyed his baby making her presence known.

"And by the way, it... she... Areum, has been kicking for about three weeks," Jungwoo almost whispered, "The first time she kicked, she woke me up in the middle of the night. I was so scared."

Yukhei smiled and hugged Jungwoo tighter to his chest. He still had time to feel her kick before she was born. And he had noticed how Jungwoo referred to their baby nicely this time instead of with regret. He finally called her Areum. 

"Now, since you changed my mind, we have to tell the family that they need to find another baby to adopt," Jungwoo sounded almost broken. Yukhei's eyes widened in fear and figured Jungwoo would make him tell them that they were keeping the baby. That was going to be an awkward phone call.


End file.
